Always Pushing

Day 140:  Numbers 23, Psalm 140 & 2 Kings 14

When I was growing up none of us kids were allowed to go to any dances except our senior prom.  I suppose my parents believed (and not entirely without reason) that bad things have a tendency to happen when young people are that close to one another in a dark environment without strong adult supervision.  But I don't want to speak about the spiritual evils of dancing, you can watch the movie.

What I want to talk about is how we all have a tendency to push.

For some reason my parents allowed me to go to prom my junior year.  Perhaps it was my cunning argument that the girl I was "dating" at the time was a senior and this was my only opportunity to go to prom with her.  Perhaps it was my sisters prodding that got them to trust me more than my older brother (for good reason! ha!).  I don't know what it was and I didn't really care because I was going to prom my junior year.

That summer my family moved to another town and I attended every school dance my senior year.

For the last couple days I've been reading the story of Balaam and Balak in the book of Numbers.  Balaam was a prophet of God and Balak was the king of the Moab.  Balak had summoned Balaam to curse the Israelites as they wandered in the desert.  Balak had heard and seen the destruction and power of God that was present with the Israelites and was worried for his own kingdom.  He wanted Balaam to curse Israel because, as he said, "those you bless are blessed and those you curse are cursed."

Balaam did go with Balak but said that he would only speak what God told him to speak.

Let me break it down.  Balaam went with Balak even though God, at first, said not to.  Why did he go?  Because he went back to God a second time and asked if he could.  Even though Balaam should have said no himself, he went back and inquired of God.  He pushed.  So the second time God said he could go, but only because He knew that it was what Balaam really wanted to do anyway.

While Balaam was on his way with Balak's men an angel with a flaming sword stood in his path to kill him, but even this did not deter Balaam.  After beating his donkey and then having a conversation with him (the donkey... read about it in chapter 22) he saw the angel but still wanted to go.  It even took three attempts by Balak to get Balaam to curse Israel (which God wouldn't do) before he gave up.

Here's the moral.  We're always pushing God.  It's like, if at first God doesn't give you what you want, ask, ask again.  God's desire is not to hem us in to His will but to guide us to Himself.  Like Balaam we may speak only what God wants but we continue to push Him until He "gives in" as if that were possible.  And like Balak when we don't get what we want we move to a different spot and try again. Perhaps God will do what I want Him to if I stand over here instead of over there...  

We're always pushing God.  We claim to be followers of Him but then often stop to ask, "are you sure that's the right way to go?"  We are total back seat drivers with God.  We treat Him more like a genie in a Bible than the all powerful God of the universe.

God, help me to follow You today.  Not to question.  Not to seek my own agenda.  But to follow.