When it's your own fault...

So this morning Trent was at church with us (if you were there you know this!) because we could not find a sitter for him today. He has had a fantastic week and done very well with all the changes to his schedule, staying with grandma and pa for three days, trip to Wichita for Trevor's band concert and lunch at AppleBees. But today at church he was off, upset and aggitated with something. Andi had to leave church early and take him home because he just was not getting along.

When I got home he was fairly upset, punched a hole in the wall, dumped a bathtub full of water on the bathroom floor, slammed some doors and was generally irritated and aggressive. So we had a little fight, nothing big just a little spat that ended up with him loosing (in the trash) one of his favorite dinosaur toys and an elephant (he LOVES elephants) toy.

He begged for his toys back but was still upset and angy and I was not too happy either so I stood my ground even when he asked with tears in his eyes and reminded me where he got it, "open present dinosaur toy" he said... he got the dino for Christmas and he loved it (which is why I used it as punishment - I ain't no wimmpy Father that only tosses the toys he doesn't like!)
Anyway, later I discovered that I had neglected to give Trent his medicine this morning... yep, you guessed it... my fault.

Trent was uphappy and angry becasue his little body was having withdrawls from the lack of meds and since he doesn't talk he couldn't just say, "Hey! I need my medicine!"

I'm reminded that when I get in to trouble and have a rough time in my life and am angry with God for what's going on it's most often my own fault! I neglected to follow His law. I didn't do what He asked or I just flat out dissobeyed!

So, given the circumstances, I think that old dinosaur may make a return appearance tonight...

Something I'm thankful for...

18 years and 6 months ago Andi said "I do" to me and a church full of people. Over those 18 years we've had a bunch of ups and downs in our marriage and in our lives. But let me take a minute to say here, as I sit in my hotel room in Branson (Andi's on the bed watching tv and eating pretzels... it's 11pm), that she has gotten more beautiful every year. And her beauty is not just physically - though she looks better than she ever has - but she is beautiful on the inside. Her spirit and ability to have fun and be quite even is amazing. She still suprises me, after all these years... So, I am happy and in love and tired this evening with the only person I would want to be here with...

Honey, I'd say more wonderful things about you but I am REALLY, REALLY tired!

What am I here for?

Maybe you've asked yourself that question before. Standing in line at the DMV (or the liqueur store). This thought went through my mind more than once this afternoon. What am I doing here? Why am I here? What good am I doing? I don't often ask myself these questions in relation to ministry, but today I asked myself all of them... while standing on the soccer field. If I believed in "luck" I would say that I'm pretty much bad luck for the soccer team. Having Real Life's logo on the front of the jerseys sure hasn't helped either!
Every time a ball got by me (and it happened a lot today!) I'd ask myself another one of those mentally rhetorical questions. And the answer was always "I don't know!"

We were doing pretty well - and you never ask yourself those kinds of questions when things are going good - tied the score. I had some good saves and then all the sudden I couldn't buy a save. I could blame it on others or use my standard line, "if the offense would score more there wouldn't be so much pressure on the defense" (the offense doesn't like that cop out). But the bottom line is that the ball stops here, with me... or rather, the ball rolls slightly past me - but I'm still responsible.

No matter how well or poorly the defense is playing I'm the last line of defense and its up to me to stop the ball. No matter what. I failed at that task today.

I failed at something else. Something bigger than a soccer ball or even the game. I failed to realize that I my task, my job is never just about what I'm doing at the moment. It's not just about stopping balls on the field or coaching 3rd graders or preaching or parenting or helping a neighbor... no my task is bigger and has much longer lasting results.

My job is to be the best witness I can for my Savior, Jesus Christ. Whether we win or loose I'm to be a witness. Whether I preach to 20 or 200 it's the same witness. Whether I'm letting Trevor drive the car home from Wichita or watching Tristen to back flips on the trampoline I have to watch my witness. And I need to change my perspective. I need to stop worrying and thinking so much about the temporal (today - flesh and blood stuff) and starting thinking more about the eternal.

So maybe I'll keep playing soccer and instead of just watching the ball, I'll make sure my witness scores for God.

Great Morning with the Svandas...

What a great time sharing with Lee and Tina Svanda this am. If you missed it they are preparing for a short-cycle mission to Koper, Slovenia where they will be planting a church, together with 7 other adults and 4 kids.
Lee and Tina shared their heart for this mission work as well as their plans for this incredible undertaking - planting a native church within 5 years!
Their journey to the mission field and how God is working in their lives is very similar to what is going on the lives of many here at Real Life as we open ourselves up to what God wants for us. This is especially true for Tina who shared that she has only been a Christian for 10 years (a little less than that I think) and how God moved her to a place where she caught Lee's vision for missions and finally joined him in completely surrendering to God and His Will.

Their testimony today tied in so well with the message as we talked about making God a priority in our lives. So often we get so sidetracked with life and bills and jobs and kids that we often give God the leftovers of our life and not the best... though we expect His best for us (a bit of a double standard I think - and am guilty of).

So we talked about ways to make God a bigger priority in our lives, reading our bible, trusting Him for our financial needs, praying a bit more focused.

As a set in the right direction there we as a church made a commitment to Lee and Tina to support them with 10% of the giving for the rest of the year. This is a way for us to press in and truly rely on God for the resources to run Real Life as well as support a mission that so closely resembles our heart for El Dorado.

So join me in prayer and priority as we focus on God and His Son Jesus Christ and look to Him for what we need even as we seek to give Him the best of who and what we are!

Thanks, Lord for the little things...

Today we got back from a speedy trip to KC to take Trent for some N.A.E.T. treatments. Last night in the hotel room I was praying and thanked God for our safe trip to KC and asked for a safe trip home (He delivered btw). While praying about that I thought about all the time we spend on the road. I take Trent to school in Andover (30 min one way) every school day. Andi takes the other kids to Leon (sometimes Trevor drives) every school day. Twice a week during the last semester Andi left school early drove to Emporia, KS for her EdS. Now back on the road to KC and next week she and I to Branson...
Of all the people on the road and all the wrecks and fender-benders there are every day God has kept us safe.

Thank you God for safe travels when there have been so many opportunities and near misses You have kept us safe.

Crummy Day... what's the difference?

So today started okay... Trent didn't go to sleep 'till late again last night so wasn't sure how he'd do today at home or school. Once to school (Trent did fine in the am) I talked with his teacher about his aggression. We talked about two options for the summer for Trent. I could come as a para and work so that if he got angry the other paras would not have to take the brunt, or we could possibly send him to HeartSpring and see how that works for him and them.
Needless to say, these are HUGE changes for us and would be for Trent - though they might be good options.
Now, we are going to KC tomorrow afternoon for some N.A.E.T. treatments (spending the night in KC) and coming home on Saturday... sometime.

Anyway, it just seemed like it was one thing after another today that was not expected and did NOT make me happy. I was grumpy finishing up with Jack on the roof this evening and just overall poopy in spirit.

But, (here's the good part) this is not all there is to my life. I will continue to have days that kick my butt - spiritually, financially, physically, emotionally - but it's only one day at a time. I can't change the future by worrying about it. We will work and pray about the best situation for Trent and we'll make a decision and live with it. Whether I have to work with him at the school or take him to a new school we'll get through it.

You see, the things that happen to us everyday are just things that happen to us - they don't define us. They don't MAKE us happy or grumpy or angry they just happen. So thank you Lord that when the day DOESN'T go the way I want it to you are the same... yesterday, today and forever. You don't change. My life changes. My feelings change. My relationships change and financial situation changes. But not You.

Thanks for being... always.