Thursday, October 26, 2017

Ephesians 5 - A Picture is Worth 1000 Words

In the first 4 chapters of Ephesians Paul takes his readers through a process of faith development.   In Chapter 1 Paul sets the stage for new believers and helps them understand what is going on in their new lives and how powerful God is to save us and change us.  In Chapter 2 Paul further directs the differences between the old life we used to live and the new life of faith.  In Chapter 3 he makes sure everybody knows that salvation belongs to those who believe and that for each one of us who believe God has a purpose.  Yesterday we read in Chapter 4 about how we are each to function in this new family and he goes over the house rules again.

In today's reading Paul continues to remind us that when we came to faith in Jesus there was a change.  We're not the old person we used to be who would give into sin and acts of the flesh - we've been changed - and that change should be visible in our daily lives.  He then wraps the chapter up with an example of how life is to be different in Christian homes.  But it can all be summed up in a simple line from the 2nd verse.

Walk in the way of love.  

If we all did this every day the world would be a much different place wouldn't it.  But because Paul knew we'd have a hard time with it he goes on to explain it and then give a real world example of what it looks like.

In verse 3-20 Paul restates what he said in early chapters.

3-7 - That stuff you used to do and be okay with, that stuff that the rest of the city of Ephesus thought was perfectly alright is not acceptable in your new life.  Don't follow those who do these things or get caught up in them again by those from your former way of life who still think it's okay.

8-14 - Remember that you WERE in darkness but you've come into the light.  Instead of engaging in the "deeds of darkness" expose them, especially in your own life so that the light of Christ may reveal and then remove the darkness.

15-20 - Watch your life and live it to the full for Jesus glory.  Faith should affect every aspect of our lives so that it changes what we do and how we speak.

In the next section Paul gives us an example of how walking walking in the way of love would look in marriage relationship.

Vereses 21
Love submits.
It just does.  You don't have to be angry about that.  It's not a man thing.  It's not about authority or abuse.  Love recognizes when it's appropriate and beneficial and then love submits.  Now, don't read more into this than is there.  He's not talking about parents submitting to their children.  He's not talking about submitting when someone wants you to do things immoral or abusive.

A woman once came to me for counseling saying her finance - whom she was living with - told her that if she loved him she would watch porn with him to help their relationship.  This is NOT an instance to submit.  And this is not what Paul is talking about.

When you're walking in love you submit to one another.  In a marriage it means that you sacrifice for one another.  If he really wants to see the new Marvel movie and it's not that big a deal to you either way, submit.  If she wants to go for Italian, submit.  If one of you feels strongly about something and the other doesn't care as much, submit.

But here's the kicker - we're not just submitting because the other person is mad or their idea is better, this is a conscious decision to submit your will to the other out of your reverence for Christ.  You're doing it for Him not for them.

Vereses 22-24
Wives submit. 
Wives are to take this mutual submission a step further.  Paul says that the husband in the spiritual head of the home, as Christ is the spiritual head of the church (His body).  Just as you would expect the church to submit to the will of Jesus, wives have a spiritual obligation to submit to their husbands - as though they were submitting to the Lord.    Wives, this has nothing to do with your ability, your smarts, your common sense or your personality.  You're not submitting because you lack something but because you get something - you get that this is the order God prescribed way back in Genesis.  He's not smarter because he's a man.  He's not better because of his DNA.  He's not "the boss."  This doesn't make you his slave or servant in any way, shape or form.  Your submission is NOT about your husband it's about your Savior.

Verses 25-29
Husbands love.
Guys - this is WAY more important and WAY more personal to God than the submissiveness of your wife.  In fact, it has nothing to do with her at all, except that she is the object of your love.  We are to love our wives in the same way that Jesus loved the church.  He gave himself completely for her.  He went to the cross for her.  He gave his life so that she might receive the benefit.  Nothing that Jesus endured was about him, it was all about her.  The way you love her is to result in her benefit - regardless of the cost to you.

If you don't get it here's the next metaphor.  Love her as you love yourself.  Just as you feed and care for your physical body you should care for your wife.  If you are careful about what you put in your body - whether that means clean living or BBQ at least 2x a week, you're intentionally caring for you body.  Care for you wife.  Put as much thought and energy into loving her as you do your car, hunting, Football or your job.  In fact, loving your wife as Jesus loved the church IS your job.  And honestly, most of us are close to being fired.

Verses 30 - 33
We all, husbands and wives, are part of the same body.  That's what God desired in the beginning that husbands and wives would leave their families and be united to each other and become one flesh.  Husbands and wives, you are not equals, you are not at odds you are not enemies you are ONE.  We need to start acting like it.   And Paul tells us how, submit to one another, wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord, husbands love your wives as Jesus loves the church.  That's how we get make it.

One final thought.  When husbands and wives follow Paul's plan the world doesn't just see a family, they see a picture of Jesus and His church.  When we submit and love the world sees a heavenly, a spiritual picture.  What goes on in a Christian home is just like what goes on the life of a believer - everything speaks.  What is your marriage saying about Jesus and His church?  Walk in the way of love.

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