What am I here for?

Maybe you've asked yourself that question before. Standing in line at the DMV (or the liqueur store). This thought went through my mind more than once this afternoon. What am I doing here? Why am I here? What good am I doing? I don't often ask myself these questions in relation to ministry, but today I asked myself all of them... while standing on the soccer field. If I believed in "luck" I would say that I'm pretty much bad luck for the soccer team. Having Real Life's logo on the front of the jerseys sure hasn't helped either!
Every time a ball got by me (and it happened a lot today!) I'd ask myself another one of those mentally rhetorical questions. And the answer was always "I don't know!"

We were doing pretty well - and you never ask yourself those kinds of questions when things are going good - tied the score. I had some good saves and then all the sudden I couldn't buy a save. I could blame it on others or use my standard line, "if the offense would score more there wouldn't be so much pressure on the defense" (the offense doesn't like that cop out). But the bottom line is that the ball stops here, with me... or rather, the ball rolls slightly past me - but I'm still responsible.

No matter how well or poorly the defense is playing I'm the last line of defense and its up to me to stop the ball. No matter what. I failed at that task today.

I failed at something else. Something bigger than a soccer ball or even the game. I failed to realize that I my task, my job is never just about what I'm doing at the moment. It's not just about stopping balls on the field or coaching 3rd graders or preaching or parenting or helping a neighbor... no my task is bigger and has much longer lasting results.

My job is to be the best witness I can for my Savior, Jesus Christ. Whether we win or loose I'm to be a witness. Whether I preach to 20 or 200 it's the same witness. Whether I'm letting Trevor drive the car home from Wichita or watching Tristen to back flips on the trampoline I have to watch my witness. And I need to change my perspective. I need to stop worrying and thinking so much about the temporal (today - flesh and blood stuff) and starting thinking more about the eternal.

So maybe I'll keep playing soccer and instead of just watching the ball, I'll make sure my witness scores for God.